Advent is a time of cheer and anticipation for most of us but especially for our kids and teens. But it can also turn into a time of frenzied shopping, decorating and entertaining. Our children can easily slip into the same behaviour and fail to realise the true spirit of Christmas. Christmas is a time when we come together in joy, acknowledging the pivotal point in human history, the birth of Christ, Saviour and King. How easy it is to overlook the spiritual dimension of Christmas, the birth of Christ, the point where God built a bridge between Himself and those He created in His own image. How do we, as parents, animate our children’s hearts and minds to go beyond the shine and glitter and stand in awe before the profoundness of God’s plan for salvation, incarnated in a baby Jesus amidst the poverty of a little village?

Christmas is a time of giving. Children crave for belongings, but if unbridled they will continue to do so even beyond adolescent age. It is enough to take a look around us and observe how many supposedly mature adults have become shop maniacs, eagerly expecting the next gadget or brand to roll out their hard earned cash. We live in a time where sophisticated advertising mediums convince adults and target the vulnerability of our kids with products that seem necessary for their social survival. Research into the correlation between addictions to materialism and unruly social behaviour indicate that although toddlers and preschoolers persistent request for toys and gadgets is usually an end in itself, heavy materialistic orientations during middle childhood to early adolescence may prove irreversible at adult age. 

Recent studies by renowned economist and consumer and family’s expert Juliet B. Schor have clearly shown that the growing commercialisation of childhood is at least partially responsible for the decline in children’s well-being. She argues that whereas it used to be the parents’ role of choosing the right gifts for their children, now it is the children’s role of picking up gifts according to the latest market trends and brands. Few adults realise the magnitude of this shift and the consequences on the fitness of our children. Juliet argues that this hyper consumerism and over-consumption is causing serious harm to the children’s well-being, and children cannot seem to find satisfaction in life, no matter how much they buy. If the emotional and social well-being of our children is at stake, what then is the balancing act? How do we harmonise the persistent demands and desires of our children for material goods with the need to teach them how to thrive socially, intellectually and spiritually especially in this blessed time?

First and foremost we have to realise that materialism and consumption tends to be destructive when it is completely disengaged from the spiritual dimension. It is destructive when it holds the theory or attitude that physical well-being and worldly possessions constitute the greatest good and the highest value in life. It is destructive when an excessive regard for worldly goods is emphasised as if physical matter is the only reality. It is destructive when materialism is not kept subordinate to ethical and spiritual values, to that which has real meaning in life. Our role as parents is to first and foremost be convinced by the truth that beyond the material, the formal, the external, the showy and the sensuous lies the purely spiritual and that material goods are provided to us as a means for living out God’s plan for us and do not constitute an end in themselves.                                                

It is from this point of departure that we can nurture our children’s value system during this Christmas period. Disciplining our children to treasure what has value does not mean depriving them of their long awaited presents. Rather, we seek to embed a sense of gratitude towards the creator of all for the gifts they have or are about to receive. We encourage them especially during this time to be generous to the less fortunate and if possible to donate one of the gifts to a charitable institution or to someone else in need. Little we seem to realise that children get so preoccupied in wondering ‘what they will get this year’ that they don’t even realise how wonderful the feeling can be when they give to others during this season and on other days.    

Nurturing our children in this time of longing for the birth of Our Lord has to go beyond the routine embracing of traditional religious rituals.  Ceremonies are useful only if they lead us to Christ. Although material instrumentalities and rituals are quite essential in religious worship, we need to be aware of the universal tendency to exalt them above their place.  All rites and rituals are to be simply instruments of convenience for conveying spiritual realities to the minds and hearts. True spiritual worship is a matter of opening our hearts and minds to God, acknowledging his great everlasting gift to humanity through the incarnation of His own Son.

Practical tips for parents to engage their loved ones in a joyful anticipation of Christ’s birth:-

• We talk to our children about our faith in a language they can understand according to their age. If our children are deprived from our own religious experience, especially our experience of hope despite life’s daily trials, it would be difficult for them to assimilate the coming of Christ as a ray of hope to a fallen world.
• Beware of being too heavy of criticizing the hyper-consumerism attitudes and materialistic cultures ruling in our contemporary culture’s preparation for Christmas. Our talk should be focused on presenting alternatives that offer more meaning and value and our role is not to choke their desires but to temper the materialistic and consumerist attitudes and behaviours. 
• We recount bible stories especially to our young ones which portray Christ’s birth, say from Luke’s gospel and how surprising it is that Christ did not come enthroned as a King but in great simplicity and poverty. We invite them to reflect on this mystery.
• We encourage children to visit their grandparents or friends in hospital or state institutions and present them with a drawing on some Christmas theme created by them.
• We visit the various highly crafted nativity scenes around the island with our children.
• We encourage them to make a list of what they are grateful for before making a list of what they would like for Christmas.
• Last but not least:- Prepare the Advent Wreath. This is made from green leaves to symbolise continuous life and contains five candles, three purple, one rose and one white. Each of the three purple candles is lit on the three consecutive Sundays of Advent symbolising Hope, Peace and Joy respectively. The fourth rose candle is lit on the fourth Sunday of Advent signifying Love. A fifth white candle is normally placed at the centre and lit on Christmas Eve after sunset symbolising the light of Christ. As each candle is lit on the consecutive Advent Sunday, recite a small prayer or bible reading preferably on Christ’s coming. Encourage the little ones to say the prayer and as the candle lighting progresses from week to week, explain the significance of preparing the way for the coming of Jesus.

 As parents entrusted with the well-being of our children, let us pray to God in Jesus’ name to enlighten us through the power of the Holy Spirit in guiding our children into men and women of hope, peace, joy, and love. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life’ (John 3:16)

THIS ARTICLE WAS PUBLISHED IN CHILD MAGAZINE IN 2010 (Christmas) – AUTHOR GORDON P VASSALLO