Kim was withdrawn as a child. Her worst fear was reading aloud in class, to the point that teachers believed she was having a nervous breakdown. Even years later, when Kim took the podium to accept her Oscar for ‘LA Confidential’ she couldn’t find words to speak, even though she had practiced for days.

We are talking here of none other but Kim Basinger, the American Actress who after success with modeling, moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in acting. Kim speaks publicly about her struggles with social anxiety and panic disorder, and although she later received psychological therapy for her anxiety, she still remains shy and susceptible to panic. Yet she sailed to victory despite the occasional storm.

Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety or intense nervousness and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged and criticized by others. Have we ever experienced a sense of embarrassment when writing or working in front of others or a sense of unease when giving a report in a group? Physical symptoms of anxiety may include confusion, pounding heart, sweating, shaking, blushing, muscle tension and an upset stomach.

A person with social anxiety disorder is afraid that he or she will make mistakes and be embarrassed or humiliated in front of others. The fear may be made worse by a lack of social skills or experience in social situations. The anxiety can build into a panic attack. As a result of the fear, the person painfully endures certain social situations or may avoid them altogether. In addition, people with social anxiety disorder often suffer ‘anticipatory’ anxiety which is the fear of a situation before it even happens, perhaps for days or weeks before the event. In many cases the person is aware that the fear is unreasonable, yet is unable to overcome it. Without treatment, social anxiety disorder can negatively interfere with the person’s normal daily routine, including work, social activities and relationships.

Treatment may involve, besides medication, ‘Cognitive- Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which is a type of ‘talk’ therapy where the patient is helped to confront both the negative feelings associated with social situations and the fear about being judged by others. The person is taught to alter his or her thinking patterns and with time the symptoms begin to diminish. Other techniques involve gradual, controlled exposure to an anxiety –provoking situation which in turn helps to identify and modify the behavior that contributes to the patient’s social anxiety.

But what is at the root of social anxiety disorder. According to the renowned SmithKline Beecham International both biological and psychological factors may play a role. One theory attributes it to an imbalance of a chemical called serotonin that transports signals between nerve cells in the brain. Another theory is that it may either by hereditary, or it may arise from an embarrassing social event in the past. Whatever, the cause, seeking treatment will enhance a more positive outlook on your life, particularly in the area of relationships.

For relationships flourish when they are not impaired by anxiety. The expression and sharing of emotion is often masked or strategically repressed by the partner suffering from an anxiety state. Yet emotional expression is so vital in providing self- disclosure that is an integral part of intimacy development, so vital in demonstrating responsiveness to partners and their shared experiences, so vital in making shared events more memorable and meaningful and so vital in allowing for preemptive discussions of disagreements to prevent relationship volatility and damage.

Whilst seeking professional psychological help is essential if not crucial in acute situations, let us not forget the great source of wisdom that surpasses all human knowledge. From the biblical perspective, 1 Peter 5:7 invites us to “Cast all our anxiety on him, because he cares for us” For God loves us so much that he goes beyond outward reformation of actions or a reduction of symptoms. God reaches the heart which trustfully surrenders to him. A transformed heart produces a changed life. Through God’s grace and our cooperation we are transformed into new beings where social anxiety and fear of the other shrink. God awards our surrender with a spirit of self-confidence and self esteem, heals the aching pains of past events which have distorted our true image of self and God, and in our struggles strengthens us to live life to the full.

(This article was published in PINK magazine in Sept 2011- Author Gordon P Vassallo (c )