Jerry Yang’s wealth is estimated to top $ 2 billion and is claimed to be one of the most successful entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley history. He chose to venture out in the business world by building an early directory of Web sites. Little did he know that his business would eventually sprawl into an Internet giant, namely Yahoo, with nearly 500 million users around the globe. Yet, when years later Jerry had to decide whether to sell out his business to Microsoft, he failed miserably, claiming that his ‘baby’, Yahoo, was worth much more than market predictions, and more than Microsoft believed it to be. In the end, his stubborn refusal to consider Microsoft’s overture to buy the company, cost shareholders $ 30 billion, and Jerry his job.

Decision making lies at the heart of our personal and professional lives. Every day we make decisions. Some are small, domestic and are taken automatically without even realising the mental process that underlines them. Others are more important that halt us at a crossroad and engage our think-tanks to figure out the best option. They are not decisions whether we should sell out our multi-million dollar business, yet they are decisions that affect our and other people’s lives, livelihoods and wellbeing. Should I engage in a lifetime commitment in marriage or should I opt to stay single? Should I take a career break to help my aging parents or should I encourage them to take lodging in a nursing home? Should I take up a highly paid but demanding job or should I retain my current job which offers a more tranquil and balanced life? Let’s face it. The choices we make and the roads we take shape our destiny. And even if our choices are heavily conditioned by life’s unexpected events, our responsive attitude to these unknowns remains ours.

Jerry Yang shows that even great leaders make mistakes. But the biggest mistake is to concede defeat just because a couple of battles are lost rather than plucking up courage, renewed strength and wisdom to fight on. A lot of talk goes on about emotional intelligence and some psychologists assert that the best choices are made when we recognise and understand our emotions and have the skills at using this awareness to manage ourselves, our choices, and our relationships with others. This holds truth. But the secret of making wise choices is founded on a wider spectrum of criteria. Wise decisions are based on our value or belief system, our unwavering principles, our firm morals and self- respect, our awareness of our true selves.

Once we have mentioned wisdom, we fall short of dwelling deeper into the complexity of choice if we fail to draw from the teaching of wise spiritual masters. Perhaps the most recognised spiritual guidelines for making life’s choices are found in the discernment process of the renowned spiritual exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola. We will attempt to indulge in a foretaste of this great source of wisdom to guide us in our life choices.

First and foremost accustom yourself to prayerful reflection. A period of uneasiness may follow, but don’t give up. Acknowledge that God’s prime interest is in your personal growth, not only in your ‘holiness’ but in your ‘wholeness’. Discern your interior movements, shifting feelings and emotions as you ponder on the subject of your choice, which obviously has to be legitimate and aligned to your religious convictions and beliefs. The shifting feelings you have when you contemplate a decision in sincere prayer have meaning. They are clues as to the right direction to take.

Don’t take a decision when you’re feeling desperate, anxious, pressured or otherwise distressed. You will be tempted to act because your want the bad feelings to go away. Don’t. Wait until tranquillity returns. Talk to someone you can really trust and who can give you wise advise. Know your weaknesses with regard to making decisions. Are you impulsive? Do you procrastinate? Are you puffed up with pride? Are you attached to any inordinate desires? Are you convinced that what you want is what’s best for you? Is it your ‘attitude’ to a current situation that really needs changing? What are your motives?

On a final note, remember, that life’s best choices are those that are ‘connected’ to our true self and the uniqueness of our character and personality in God’s loving plan. Beware of taking choices from the false self, which some call ‘the shadow’ created by intense social conditioning and illusive expectations.

(THIS ARTICLE WAS PUBLISHED IN PINK MAGAZINE IN 2010 – AUTHOR GORDON P VASSALLO)