Breaking news!! ‘Paris Hilton found with drugs at airport in Corsica!!!’ Paris, the American heiress, top model, singer, and actress, and the great granddaughter of Conrad Hilton, founder of Hilton Hotels. But, as soon as the hot and juicy bubble bursts, the real facts come out. ‘Paris was found to be in possession of less than a gram of “cannabis” and was released within 30 minutes with no charges due to the tiny quantity of drug.’ The celebrities’ arena thrives on gossip. But gossip is so spicy it creeps in even in our daily conversations. No wonder Herb Shriner, an American humorist and television host said that ‘Conversation is three women standing on the corner talking. Gossip is when one of them departs’.

A Jewish proverb says that loose tongues are worse than wicked hands. Lisa Kirk, an American actress, defines a gossip as one who talks to you about others, a bore as one who talks to you about him or herself, and a brilliant conversationalist as one who talks to you about yourself. Horace, an ancient Roman philosopher strongly advises to ‘avoid inquisitive persons, for they are sure to be gossips, their ears are open to hear, and will not keep what is entrusted to them’.

Gossip and idle conversation trickles in when speech consists of talking about the private affairs of others, in talking merely to pass away the time, and in engaging in aimless and irrelevant conversation, perhaps for the passing excitement of a momentary laugh. Gossip magnifies the faults of others and introduces unworthy insinuations. Such an ungoverned condition of speech is the outcome of an ill- regulated mind. Just as a tiny spark sets a great forest on fire, it takes only some gossip to ruin a friendship or a relationship. Gossip is only one of the maladies of speech. It may lead to slander and serious conflict. So what are some of the remedies for taming the tongue?

Some claim that constant vigilance of speech is a must. Others recommend a kind of ‘Halt’ strategy, or a sudden tongue biting just at the right moment. But it is easier said than done! Self- control and discipline takes a certain amount of psychological and physiological energy. What happens when a powerful emotional impulse compels us to foolishly stick our tongues out to speak wrongly about the affairs of others? What happens when we can manipulate speech to further our ego’s ambition or to gain status? The tongue can bless or curse.

It is not surprising that all major religions prescribe ‘silence’ when treating the maladies of speech. Silence gives our tongue a sabbatical which our brain can put to good use. To bridle our tongue is a sign of virtue and leads to rightly govern our mind too. Instead of letting our tongue run idly and foolishly, we make our speech strong and pure, and will either talk with a purpose or remain silent. Proverbs 17:9 says ‘the one who covers an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends’. We must remember at heart that no matter how much our friends and neighbours are at fault, we are pretty much in the same boat and we all deserve some understanding and compassion. We are all children of the same God.

The apostle Paul clearly admonishes us to ‘Let no corrupt communication proceed from your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers….Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice’. He further asserts ‘ Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent and praiseworthy – think about such things’.

In the spiritual life, as in the material, nothing is done without labour, and the higher cannot be known until the lower is fulfilled. How can the remote subtleties of the mind be regulated and divine transcendence hoped for without primarily developing the virtues of truthfulness, sincerity, reverence and self-control which initially comes from overcoming the vices of speech? It does well to remind ourselves that we have to give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word we have spoken.

(THIS ARTICLE WAS PUBLISHED ON PINK MAGAZINE IN 2010- AUTHOR GORDON P VASSALLO)